New Blog, New Chapter!

Welcome to my first blog!

Time just seems to have flown since the announcement of my retirement from Para-Swimming in February 2018.

You can find my piece on retirement and my story here: https://www.lep.co.uk/sport/other-sport/big-interview-swimming-star-stephanie-slater-opens-up-on-decision-to-retire-from-the-sport-1-9033885

It has not been an easy ride but as the saying goes: 'as one door closes another will open'. A new exciting chapter now awaits.

After an amazing Commonwealth Games and European Championships in 2014, sadly my health took a massive uncontrollable nosedive.

In 2015, I had hip surgery which kept me out of the pool for eight months. I thought my Paralympic dream was over. I was determined though to not let this slip away. I managed (not quite sure how still) through sheer blood, sweat and a lot of tears to make it to Rio Paralympic Games 2016.

I was absolutely amazed and so overwhelmed to come away with a gold and silver medal. I knew deep down though if I had been fully fit, I could have done a lot better. I was just over 2 seconds off my world record time in my main event. It still plays on my mind to this day. With the little training, I had under my belt, a restricted programme and the pain and heartache I had endured along the way, I had to hold my head up high. I was proud of what I had achieved despite my body being physically, mentally and emotionally drained.

Two weeks after I landed home from Rio, I was straight back into another surgery. This time I received a Corneal Transplant and was given the gift of sight. I will always be forever grateful to my donor and her family. A special thank you to St. Paul’s Eye Unit in Liverpool and to Mr Mark Batterbury for their expert and passionate care. I needed this transplant due to a degenerative condition called Keratoconus. (Watch this space for a Keratoconus blog coming soon!)

During the time I was recovering from my transplant it gave me time to reflect on the future. I now had an even bigger desire to manage my health and medical conditions. I needed to get fit so I could be on top form for the next Paralympic Games in Tokyo 2020.

Little did I know though, that my gold winning race in Rio would be my last ever race.

Once I was back training the neck injury I had before Rio started to flare up again. I was in extreme pain suffering reoccurring torticollis and various neurological symptoms. Despite physiotherapy and numbing injections nothing helped ease the pain. Unfortunately, I have had adverse reactions to painkillers other than paracetamol so I am very limited on what I can take. Paracetamol provided no relief either.

I was referred to a neurosurgeon who specialises in head and neck surgery. Sitting in the hospital waiting room it felt like Déjà vu back to 2011. Surely this could not be happening again!

So many thoughts were running through my head but I tried to block the 'what if I cannot swim again' to the back of my mind. I knew deep down though something was seriously wrong. The neurological symptoms and pain were not a good sign.

After my consultation, I walked out of the room and instantly burst into floods of tears. My mum could not console me and I think I cried the whole way home. It was a feeling that is really hard to describe. Even for a second time around, this felt worse. My heart was totally ripped out.

I was diagnosed with a condition called Atlantoaxial Instability (AAI). AAI is defined by excessive movement of the first 2 vertebrae C1 and C2 in the cervical spine/neck. So, to explain it in basic terms when my neck is rotated, due to the instability and laxity of the ligaments it causes the bones to sublux (partially dislocate) which caused me extreme pain, neurological symptoms and great discomfort.

Swimming and a partially dislocating neck were not a great combination.

I was given two options from my neurosurgeon both resulting in me ultimately having to retire from swimming. I could have my neck fused which would reduce my rotation by up to 50% but the operation carried very high-risk complications. The second option was to have no surgery and to restrict/stop anything that would cause my neck to partially dislocate. Definitely not options I had envisaged.

I opted not to have the surgery for the time being due to the major impact surgery has on my health. The operation also carried major risks especially with my genetic condition. I could not face missing out on another year having to recover and have rehabilitation again.

I could not come to terms with the word 'retire'. I spoke to multiple doctors and specialists clinging to the chance that there was an alternative way to cure my problem and I would be able to carry on swimming. I had exhausted every avenue.

I had to face the hard reality that one wrong dive or turn could paralyse me if my neck was to partially dislocate in a sudden way. The risks were just far too high. It was sadly time to hang up my hat and goggles for the final time and retire.

Life after Retirement

It is now 18 months since I officially retired and to be honest, I do not know where the time has gone. It still has not fully sunk in yet. Transitioning out of elite sport through a sudden injury is something every athlete does not ever wish to think about. When this suddenly happens, it is very hard to comprehend. I was not ready to finish. I knew I had more to give, which was the hardest part to process. Sadly, this is the reality of elite sport. One minute you are racing in a Paralympic Games and the next minute your career is brutally taken away from you. The roller coaster of emotions you constantly go through is just never-ending. It is totally heart-breaking.

I no longer had a daily routine, no structured daily plan to get up for, I lost my financial and medical support. I felt like I had lost my identity. I was truly lost for a number of months.

I have spoken to a few athletes that have experienced retirement through injury like Jimmy Gittins (https://jimmygittins.co.uk/about/ ) and Danny Sculthorpe (https://www.england.nhs.uk/author/danny-sculthorpe/ ) both former professional rugby league players.

Both Jimmy and Danny and some of my retired athlete friends shared similar thoughts and feelings that I also experienced.

Only an athlete truly knows what happens behind the scenes on a day to day basis. Outside of sport, people only see the brief moments when you are in the spotlight and whether you win or lose a race. This can be the hardest part mentally for an athlete.

Fortunately, I was very lucky to have a fantastic support network around me. They kept my spirits up which was extremely important to me during this time.

Recently, transitioning out of elite sport has slowly been creeping into the media. It is something I feel is vitally important for all competitive athletes to plan and think about. A lot finish when they have achieved all they set out to do in their chosen sport or know when the time is right to retire. Some athletes do not get that choice and are forced to retire.

Here are some great examples of other athletes’ thoughts and feelings through transitioning out of elite sport. Elizabeth ‘Lizzie’ Simmonds a former Olympic Swimmer shares her thoughts in her fantastic blog: https://lizziesimmonds.com/2018/08/10/transition-a-mix-of-emotions/#more-242

And more recently an article from the Independent: https://www.independent.co.uk/sport/the-sporting-mind-series-mental-health-sport-ellie-simmonds-retirement-kelly-holmes-a8942516.html

My swimming career had always been plagued with illness and injury from a young age. Something I had to quickly learn to deal with. The words ‘Oh you’re out the pool again’ is something I heard on a regular basis. Little did I know at the time this was the grounding that built up my resilience and determination to never give up. In the years to come it would all become clear and I would receive a diagnosis which would explain the cause of all my injuries and illnesses.

When I started college at 16, I had part-time jobs and started volunteering. This gave me a break and a change of scenery from following a black line in the pool. It made me a more rounded person learning to juggle a job, training, volunteering and having a social life. All whilst battling daily with my chronic health problems too. Working and volunteering helped me to explore my options for life after swimming which I feel was really important for my personal development.

When you retire the first question people always ask is what you plan to do next. Luckily, I knew what career path I wanted to take and the steps needed to make it happen. Unfortunately, not all athletes know what they want to do when they retire, especially if this is forced upon them through injury. They can lose the motivation and the desire they had as an athlete to achieve success in another career. I know many athletes though who have made very successful careers after their retirement such as presenters, physiotherapists, coaches or set up their own business ventures. It is just a question of finding the right career that is equally as challenging and fulfilling as your sport and moving on. I have found that dwelling on what might have been would get me nowhere and just focused on what I had achieved and not what I could have achieved.

Once I was settled back at home with my parents, I started a job with the NHS in a role as an administrator at my local Community Hospital. This is something I had done before I moved to the National Performance Centre in Manchester. It enabled me to earn some money and keep myself and my mind busy. I needed to go to University and thought I could apply straight away with my qualifications. Unfortunately, as I had been out of education for longer than 5 years, the course I wanted to do required me to do an Access to Higher Education course. I enrolled at Adult College in September 2018. In hindsight, this was the best thing I could have done as I was with older students all with the same passion and work ethic as me. We all wanted to go to University for our dream careers. I was able to keep my job at the NHS part-time whilst studying at college.

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Next Chapter

So, you may all be wondering what the next chapter is. Is it in Sport?

Well, I am still involved in sport as an athlete rep/mentor for British Para-Swimming. However, in September I will be embarking on a 3-year University course studying Paediatric Nursing. This has been a dream of mine (as you can see from the picture below) from being very young when I first joined St. John's Ambulance. This course would never have been possible whilst being an elite athlete.

Me in my first St. John's Ambulance uniform.

I was a bit worried at first if nursing would be an accessible career with my disability and health problems. Having a disability and multiple health issues that are chronic and unpredictable on a daily basis, can be very challenging and frustrating. I needn’t have worried as all the universities I applied to, confirmed that reasonable adjustments would be put in place for me to access the course. I was accepted at the four universities I applied to. Paediatric Nursing is a very competitive course due to the limited places available. This has made my desire to become the best possible nurse I can be even more special.

The day I start my chosen university in September will be 3 years to the day I actually won my gold medal in Rio. This will equally be a very special and emotional day for me.

I will hopefully try to keep you posted on how my journey goes over the next 3 years. Especially how I find the training with my disability and health problems and any obstacles I may face. It is going to be hard but I am ready for a new challenge.

If anyone has anything in particular, they would like me to discuss in future blogs do please let me know.

Thank you for taking the time to read my first blog.

Stephanie. Xx